Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.
Hebrews 11:1-3
This is perhaps the scariest project I have undertaken thus far. Having even a simple discussion on what a man ought to be these days is filled with much strife, much more if the foundation of what a man should be is built on something we cannot immediately affirm. There is both talk of men being the problem to our society and strong men being the solution to said problems and where we are right now, I understand the position a lot of men might be in. However, I do not want to be caught up in the discussion too much. If I am to be honest, sometimes even glancing slightly at the pressure overwhelms me. So rather than do the light research I usually do, we are going to use the final 3 chapters of Hebrews as a reference for this subject. I hope you will follow through to the end.
Position One: By Faith, A Man is Defined by God, Confirmed by Science
A process of successful fertilization where the formation of a being bearing the chromosomes of XY, the Y bearing nearly 60 million building blocks of DNA and being present only in males with females having the XX pair, brings forth a male child. As per my understanding, societies around the world throughout our timeline have had different practices where they believed they could best predict whether a male or female was to be born but to this day, in our advancements of science, there is not much that can be done prior to fertilization. We can have insemination where we select certain things like race, we can have specific fertilized eggs, we can create the perfect conditions for children to grow in the womb and there is much we know about the entire process but we cannot dictate the sex of a child.
God defines sex and our job is to only confirm by scientific truth what has already been caused to happen. The famous Psalms 139 states
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
Psalms 139:13-16
Science is a library of successful data collection derived from processes that remained consistent and we held such consistencies as unchanging as the very laws of physics that allowed it to happen. We are forever unable to tell whether consistency means absolution and thus we have to equate both as mostly true that our jobs of advancing knowledge are plausible. In itself, it is not a sign that God runs the show but God is a reliable enough standard of absolution or so the early innovators of the scientific revolution held. In our time and age, where we have been put into a worldview of questioning every sense of objective reality for the sake of our comfort and search for relevance and self-identification, we have decided that even science holds no true objectivity against our definition of worth.
It is to our benefit as we will see that every single process we have is predetermined because if left alone, we probably would have no end to destroying the foundation of our existence just to see if it defines us better. Most children arrive into our world around 7-9 months with the latter being consistently seen to be a healthy arrival. A child in the womb does not decide what it eats, what bone formation is more suitable, or what organs it may need more, the process happens outside of the agency of both him and his mother. The child is born and has no agency over locomotion, intelligence beyond jerk reactions to hunger, sleep, or loneliness, the kind of parents he ends up with as well as the political, social, and economic bracket of his family, the kind of siblings or lack thereof he ends up with, level of health and wholeness among others.
As his mental and emotional intelligence grows, he gains a sense of independence and learns how to better depend on his parents, gaining what we refer to as self-awareness or consciousness with each step. Yet even in this, a young male does not decide when their first speech appears or when they make their first steps. The level of mental and physical growth are the main indicators. Though the level of agency and interests will differ, boys often enjoy an agency that immediately causes slight separation from their mother, a process that will grow or wane depending on the male influence they have, older and younger. Then by 13, or somewhere around that age, yet another change outside of their agency appears and they go through physical, mental, emotional, and psychological changes that threaten to redefine their sense of self.
One of the things I think we as the newer generation seem to have forgotten when dealing with teenagers is that they have what they feel to be the least amount of agency in their life. It comes as no surprise that this is the age where transgender seems to be discussion kids believe they can stomach the most. Up until this point, you have been a boy and life has been one thing and now suddenly, there are new desires and interests you had no interest in before, a growth you don’t quite understand, and as far as you are concerned, your parents begin to treat you as both a child and an adult at the same time. Could you not sympathize with wanting to be anything other than what you are now? Could you not want to do anything to basically be the person you used to be, to make the mistakes you used to make, to be accepted in the same way by your peers as you once did? This is why sex and gender are predefined because if it was not, we would break into a million pieces at this point.
There needs to be a reference point we can look at, something both the parents and their teenage sons can look at and say, “All of this is happening exactly as it should. Take courage and walk onwards.” This is also why I believe a lot who may be misdiagnosed with gender dysphoria never really feel like human beings as adults, never really feel like there is something that does or should define them. They can be anything. The war for men is fought in the teenage section. When there is solid ground in who you are in such a hurricane of emotions, there is hope that you can navigate other aspects of your life. So take this from me as early as you can; you cannot be anything you want to be because you do not define yourself and that is a good thing. It is a good thing because there are going to be a thousand moments when you will face crippling doubt when a sinful world breaks you inside out, and your identity has got to be the last thing in the world that you should question.
A man is a man because their identity is transcendent and their worth is without question and science has advanced enough to see evidence that there is nothing that has overtaken us that is not common to all men. When you can be anything other than what exists, you have no reference, nobody you can look to who has overcome the same trial and thus feel like it’s not going to be a big deal for you. Your strength is not that you are different but that you are similar and several have gone before you outlining a way that you can also walk. The reason I believe something like de-transitioning gets a bad rep is that deep down, it is an invalidation of a community that needs to exist so that others can walk comfortably in it. If there are enough who don’t survive, identity crumbles and you can’t even trust the validity of those who did survive. That is the issue with an identity that defies transcendence, it is fallible enough to discourage the consistency that stabilizes things like science. It cannot be seen to be as true as the idea that we are in a heliocentric solar system, experiencing rotation and revolution on a spherical Earth in equal portions of 24 and 364 and a quarter, thus seeing the Sun as rising in the East and sets in the West. What can do that is something built from the absolute. A man is a man because God built him to be one and it remains consistent to this day.
Position Two: By Faith, A Man Finds Purpose in God
By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God. By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age since she considered him faithful who had promised. Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born descendants as many as the stars of heaven and as many as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore.
Hebrews 11:8-12
It is one thing to know and celebrate that our identity as men is transcendental, but just as important is the reality that our purpose is also transcendental. I want you to think about the fact that there are many who do not suffer from gender dysphoria, who are comfortable with the idea that either God created them as men or that science is a good enough standard to tell them that they are biologically male, and still suffer greatly from a lack of meaning. Once again, we consider consistency as our hallmark. It is without a doubt true that any religion offers purpose, even if the said purpose is born from deception. It is consistent that many who are said to be Christian are filled with a purposeful life, one that even agnostics can attest to being filled with direction and momentum. Even if the Bible were wrong, the purpose would be something we would definitely attribute to the Christian faith, with even the non-believers engaging and participating in areas where they find the church doing good things.
The knowledge acquired for scientific advancement did not rely on consistency alone. The second important ingredient in the recipe is trust or to be specific, trust that consistency is good enough to be assumed to be absolution. It is trusting that things will remain consistent to build upon. Sometimes, it works wonders and we see the moon and the stars, and other times it needs revision beyond credibility. Trust is an important component of accepting knowledge of any kind, and one built on consistency, even better.
The conviction of the Holy Spirit upon a man who comes to the realization that they are wholly depraved, their righteous deeds nothing more than salad dressing on a rotting steak that is their heart, is a genesis to a new life. We move from knowing that we are created as men into knowing why we are created as men. This is a journey that begins with understanding things that apply to all of us; saved by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8), to a new life of transformation of our minds towards the will of God (Rom. 12:1-2) to things that more closely relate to the male believers, not in ways that discriminate but to complement.
An Unyielding Spirit of Bravery in Unfair Circumstances
By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw that the child was beautiful, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict. By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and sprinkled the blood so that the Destroyer of the firstborn might not touch them.
Hebrews 11:23-28
Aware of the harshness of Loving Punishment, willing to Take it Also
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:7-11
Exercising Great Compassion, Self-Control, and Contentment
Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:1-5
Holding Steadfast to the Truth
Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Do not be led away by diverse and strange teachings, for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, which have not benefited those devoted to them.
Hebrews 13:7-9
Submitting to Authority with Grace
Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
Hebrews 13:17
Preserved in the Prayer of the Saints for their Consistency in their Walk
Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a clear conscience, desiring to act honorably in all things. I urge you the more earnestly to do this in order that I may be restored to you the sooner. Hebrews 13:18-19
Not all men will lead homes as husbands. Even fewer will lead as local church pastors. However, laid out are some of the hardest tasks for the Christian men, one we will consistently gain the strength to get better at, by God’s grace. I am neither of the two at the time of this writing so my thoughts will stick to these for these alone are great and sobering thoughts. In a world that wants to define consistently what we ought to be as men, let us not be too burdened with such thoughts. Our work has already been laid out for us and if we are careful to follow and get better at that, any other exhortations will be white noise if it comes in defiance of these guidelines. I’ll just add one last thought. I don’t believe we ought to over-celebrate the past as men. There is grace for each season. The previous men did many things well and we can take some and move with them but we are born at this age for a reason. The themes of courage, gentleness, self-control and longsuffering patience have definitely changed as we are exposed to the Internet, especially at a younger age.
Those that fought with fire and brimstone had their wars. We have our own and that does not necessarily make us weaker in willpower. Sometimes, even walking away from an encounter where your words would be unseasoned, taking a hit from someone who devalues your manhood without returning the favor, overcoming years of ‘petty abuse’ with therapy, or giving a kind comment that goes unnoticed can be just as masculine. We can add living in the jungle, making it so your finger can lift weights, grow a powerful beard the likes Aaron would be jealous of, buy a monster truck, perfect that 3-pointer, get a Ballon D’or, as the grace offers but let us always be aware which are basic and which are add-ons, that we don’t be too caught up in masculine traits we don’t always need. With that, I think we can call it a day.
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