Femininity under God: Sarah

There was a simple reason behind the start of this series, much less a series about femininity written by a man; to talk about my journey throughout Genesis and to point to a hunger that many might feel Scripture might not provide. For a lot of people going through the journey of the Israel Patriarchy under God, there might be a temptation to feel as though women were never really recorded in the history books. If there has been one area where feminism has been successful in its attempt to dissuade women from approaching the Bible, it has been to lead many to feel as though the Bible is just a tale of men doing things and women never really playing center stage. This has led some to point to the more prominent characters in the Bible like Deborah or Queen Esther but I’d like to challenge that. I want us to talk about how fulfilling the story of the wives and mothers and women in the Bible was and how their story really becomes interesting when we look at how brave they were, their highs and lows, and overall how their lives greatly impacted the generations that came after.

This series is going to start with Abraham’s wife, Sarah. I want us to take a look at how a story that seems to have Abraham at the forefront gave a look at what I believe to be one of the most awesome people to have ever existed. There is going to be some extra commentary but by God’s grace, I sure hope it is not one that deviates from the text. With that, we can begin the story.

Sarah’s first appearance in the Bible is in Genesis 11, which also happens to be at the same time Abram is introduced. This is an interesting pattern that almost seems to follow throughout the Patriarchs of Genesis. All but Joseph seem to find prominence to the story as near to when they would eventually find their wives as possible. Genesis seems to paint a great reverence for marriage and my journey through the text has had these men who found favor by God to be really productive when they have a family to take care of, really subtly driving the point home of how marriage brings great purpose to a man. This isn’t meant to be a dig at the unmarried of course. At the time of writing, I am one of them. It is simply an interesting look at how the men were at their most fulfilled when they were at their most dependent, both on God and their wives.

Now, one of the first things that we get to know about Sarai (later named Sarah) is that she was barren. This is interesting because, to many, this is the first thing we often recall about her and this might come across as very mean-spirited when you first read through. But what you realize is that God has an extreme balance in how he dealt with women. Because later on in Genesis 12: 10-13, we get this.

Now there was a famine in the land. So Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance, and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me, but they will let you live. Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.”

 Genesis 12:10-13

Sarah was thus in the next chapter recorded to be so beautiful that Abraham literally had to lie about his relationship with her for fear of death. I don’t know how many men in history can claim to have a wife so beautiful that they consider the possibility that kings and powerful men would harm them and take their wives but this was Abraham’s fate. This was not simply a man seeing great honor in his wife, she was objectively wonderful in appearance. This isn’t just my commentary here, the Bible makes it plain.

When Abram entered Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. And when the princes of Pharaoh saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. And for her sake he dealt well with Abram; and he had sheep, oxen, male donkeys, male servants, female servants, female donkeys, and camels.

Genesis 12:14-16

In this day and age, there is a very significant downplay of the art of beauty, to the degree that it has been seen as fashionable to not see yourself as beautiful and worthy of having many see you as such. Young men and women have been tempted to present themselves as androgynous and ugly to fit in with the rest and this has caused even those who are naturally born as handsome and beautiful to have great anxiety as a result of this. I have always held this to be in very poor taste. Ladies and gentlemen, we are not of equal beauty. There are people who are made in God’s image to be more beautiful and pleasing to the eye, so that we may see God’s handiwork. There is a great focus to shift toward all men looking similar and being judged as similar in this respect and it is a recipe for disaster. Despite her great beauty, Sarah had a great passion that for a long time was never met; that of having children. We’ll get back to this but when we look at those who are of greater beauty than ourselves, envy does become a temptation but in our envy, we forget that God balances everything. Even those who were born with great genes have other issues in their heart that they deal with and when we create a world where their one and only thing to be thankful to God about is what we despise, do we not cause them grief?

As we will see, the marriage between Abraham and Sarah revealed a lot of weaknesses on both of their parts but just as importantly, a lot of strengths on both of their parts. Because of Sarah’s beauty, Abraham caused a lot of people to sin as a result; he had to lie, Sarah very nearly had to commit adultery and so did the Pharaoh, and yet God intervened in their weakness and guided all three into a better path. The sin of the husband thus affected his entire family and those around him. The interesting thing here is that Abraham did the exact same thing in Genesis 20 with Abimelech. It would seem that to some degree, there was a bit of fear and insecurity on Abraham’s part for the sake of his wife. This is what I find very heart-warming about this family. There are those who paint a great image of Abraham as this great, fulfilled, blessed man who could do no wrong and was greatly reverent of God and indeed this was Abraham’s testimony. Israel themselves held great honor for their forefather. Genesis, however, paints a picture of a broken man who was faithful in some areas and needed greater work in others. He wasn’t invincible, instead, he was truly broken like the rest of us.

Now, some might be tempted to see this as one-sided, that Abraham was truly the weakest link in his and Sarah’s relationship but the Bible is clear to erase that picture as early as possible. In Genesis 15, God makes a covenant with Abraham that he would have offspring that are as many as the stars and that his ancestry will be great. This was Abraham’s strong point and it happened to be Sarah’s weak point. This was not a covenant that was going to be fulfilled immediately and thus, Sarah was in limbo. She wasn’t able to bear Abraham’s children. So she decided to do something on behalf of God.

​Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had a female Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.

Genesis 16:1-2

Unfortunately, once this happened and Hagar got a child, she began to resent Sarai and look down on her, given that there was a great honor in bearing children. Thus, Sarai didn’t take it kindly.

And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my servant to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the LORD judge between you and me!” But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your servant is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her.  

Genesis 16:5-6

Sarah had essentially caused great misfortune to her family with her one decision in the same way Abraham did. She did her husband wrong by not trusting in God’s timing and led him to do wrong by Hagar by bearing a child and in turn, Hagar did Sarah wrong by holding contempt over her. Worse still, Sarah decided to cover up her tracks by treating Hagar so poorly that her servant could no longer take it. And yet, even in this mess, God intervened and led each and every one of them back to peace and made it work for His good, bearing grace on Hagar and her child Ishmael and on Sarah and Abraham. But this story left a mark on Sarah, a form of despair that never seem to go away and grew as the years passed. 14 years later, in Genesis 17, God renews his promise to Abraham and it is here where their names are changed. Sarah is now very skeptical of God’s promise. She’s now 90 and Abraham is 100 years old and thus does not see any way God can keep his promise.

To be fair, this wasn’t something that Abraham was handling any better at the time.

And God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.” Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, “Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” And Abraham said to God, “Oh that Ishmael might live before you!” God said, “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him. As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly. He shall father twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation. But I will establish my covenant with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this time next year.”

 Genesis 17:15-21

So it does not come as a surprise that when Sarah was later also told about this promise in Genesis 18…

They said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “She is in the tent.” The LORD said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” The LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. He said, “No, but you did laugh.”

Genesis 18:9-15

It is very interesting to see how much Abraham and Sarah had in common and that both of them seemed to be in the time of their lives when they had pretty much given up on God’s promise. This is what is so cool about going through the Bible without a poor lens attached. A lot of these details stick with you and you can paint a rough picture of things that happened. While it may not seem implied, there are great hints that show Abraham and Sarah had a very down-to-earth relationship of understanding each other. At the best of times, they were supportive and at the worst of times, they were patient with each other. I don’t imagine the discussions over Hagar and claiming to be his sister went as smoothly as recorded but there was defiant unity between the two.

Just to add more commentary, we do have in the next chapter, Genesis 19, a story of what happens when a wife and husband are not in unity over what God commands them to do. Lot’s wife chose to look back when they were instructed not to and thus left Lot and his daughters in a position where sin damaged their lives. Lot, on the other hand, had lived in Sodom long enough to want to willingly hand in her daughters to deviant men so that the angels of the Lord may be spared. The way I often hear this discussion, it always seems to be that the decisions of the man can make and destroy a family and Scripture seems to confirm this but it also seems to be clear that a wife can also do great harm to her family by the choices she chooses to make.

Getting back to Sarah, Sarah finally got a child in Genesis 21 and it was like the end of a great saga, filling her with great joy in great Abrahamic family fashion. Sarah makes the same great mistake of wanting to chase Hagar away. You can almost see her thoughts of wanting to keep Hagar and Ishmael around long enough to see her purpose fulfilled and not wanting someone to rain on her parade. Even here, God still provides a way for Hagar to move forward and have a great start in life. The relationship between Hagar and Sarah is great proof that God holds great purpose for both women perceived as great and those perceived as lesser. In the same way, Sarah’s story shines even when shadowed by Abraham, and Hagar’s story shines even when shadowed by Sarah. The lack of details does not speak to a God who views some as lesser but a tight story that had to record some great details and some lesser known ones, lest we end up with details too vast to digest the important notes God wants us to learn.

Now, thus far, we have mostly talked about Sarah from her flaws and her moments when Abraham was at his worst but when you see how attached the couple were, you get to read a lot between the lines. It was Sarah who comforted Abraham for years when the promise of a son did not seem to arrive and you can tell this from the shared responses they both had to the matter. It was Sarah who was with Abraham when he went through so many unknown places in his life and much of the wealth Abraham received was in large part thanks to Sarah’s grace (albeit through trickery). Abraham had one of the largest households at that time (confirmed from both Genesis 14 and 17) and given the things Abraham had to do, like going before kings and even rescuing Lot in Genesis 14, Sarah was the custodian of the wealth and people under Abraham. Sarah might have literally been the Proverbs 31 woman long before it was ever penned down. You can be assured after Genesis 22 when Isaac nearly witnessed his father try to sacrifice him, that he was probably not going to talk to his father for a while.

So great and beloved Sarah was that an entire chapter (one of the 1189 chapters, I’ll remind you) was dedicated to finding a place to give her rest. You can be assured not even the kings recorded in Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles had that to their names. There is more to say about Sarah than there were of many corrupt kings and that speaks a lot to the grace God gave this woman. She was broken and she was faulty as is all of humanity but she, like Abraham, is greatly favored. I hope that I was able to convince you of such. As the Lord wills, hopefully, we will cover more characters like these.

Have a great day.